Lank Stumpers was the kind and generous dwarf who suffered from memory loss and bouts of unexplained unconscious behaviour. He joined the party early in their Barovia Valley adventure, staying with them all the way to it's culmination.
Description[]
Appearance[]
Lank was described as having a kindly face and sported a dark brown beard. In many ways he was a very typical dwarf: short, stocky and muscular. He wore chainmail armour and carried a maul (or war hammer).[1]
Dent Biscuits[]
- 26: Deer Eggs and a Bowl of Tabasco Sauce: "Lank went inside too. He was not super optimistic given the extent of last night's menu, but he was hoping for waffles."
- 28: The Fifth Pope of London: "That reminds me. The last time we all spoke I said I wanted to buy a waffle iron."
History[]
Lank's introduction to the group was something of an unusual one. All he remembered was waking up and finding himself in a dirt tunnel, with no recollection of how he got there. The tunnel led him on a gentle slope to what he thought was the ceiling, but which actually turned out to be the street.[2] Using his maul, he smashed his way out, sending cobblestones and dirt flying in all directions, and found himself in the midst of a face-off between the party and a pack of Strahd's wolves. This was just after the group had emerged from the Durst house. Lank accompanied the group to the tavern and decided to join them in helping Ismark and Ireena.[3]
The next day, they were making their way through Barovia Village, when a young child pointed at him and loudly asked their mother "Is that the dwarf you saw running around naked last night, mommy?" Lank was embarrassed by this and although had no memory of it, he was troubled by feelings of familiarity that caused him to wonder if it had actually happened.[2]
Lank Stumpers Facts![]
To be compiled into the article at some point...
- 11: New Friends, or BIFF! SPLAT! GUANO!: "the ground beneath them quivers and shakes and then it erupts upwards. There's cobblestones and dirt flying in all directions, and surging out of the ground you see a mud-covered dwarf swinging a huge maul, it knocks two the wolves back into the pack. They hit the ground with a whimper and go running off away from everything into the town." Greg: "[Lank] looks around with an embarrassed look on [his] face and says 'Sorry!'" / "the wolf gnashes on your chainmail" / Greg: "[Lank] can barely see [Goran] through the mud. 'My name is Lank Stumpers.'" / Will asks Lank, "Why were you underground? Who are you?!" Lank: "I wish I could give you more explanation, but you know almost as much as I do. I woke up this morning underground, tried to get out from underground and popped out here next to all your dogs! Nice dogs you've got, by the way." / "I often don't get respect from animals with my stature." / Will asks Lank if he's from Barovia. Lank: "Oh, no, I just found myself in the dirt this morning. It's an unusual story. I'm not quite sure how to tell it. But I don't think I'm from around here. This place doesn't look familiar to me. But most places don't." Will leans closer to Nick and says "I think this guy's maybe not all there." Nick replies "Don't tell him that. He looks pretty thick and has a big thick hammer."
- 12: GILFs, Get Your Tongues Ready!: "His face is kindly [...] Classic dwarf. Short and stocky and muscular." "[He's wearing] his chainmail." "He's got a big old maul, right?" "Yes." "Hammer-y thing. Does he have hair? Does he have a beard?" "Yes. Currently caked in mud." "And what colour is it?" "Actually blends in with the mud rather well, sort of a dark brown." / Crowbar: "This might call for bolder action. And I pull out my crowbar. I do have a crowbar by the way."
- 14: The Attempted Pike Poke: "Lank has a light crossbow. Actually, he has a light crossbow, he also has a pike, with reach, that he could stand on the edge and just poke at it."
- 15: The Truth of His Salvation: Goran: "Who can see in the dark?" Greg: "Lank raises his hand."
- 16: How's the Sentence Happening?: A small kid coming out of the mercantile accompanied by his mother, points at Lank and shouts: "Is that the dwarf you saw running around naked last night mommy?" Eric: "You have a memory, kind of like a vision, it's almost like a sense, you get the feeling of movement in the dark, and it's cold, and you feel like you're naked, running on cobblestones. And then it goes away and you don't remember what I just described exactly, but you remember remembering something, basically, if that makes sense." / Will quizzes Lank about his unusual entrance: "You still haven't told us what the heck you were doing underground, and I find this very interesting." Lank: "When I emerged from the ground, we were all very busy. I don't have much information to offer. [...] To be truly honest with you, I don't know how I wound up under the ground where you saw me pop out. I was asleep. And then when I woke up, I was in a tunnel. The tunnel led me on a gentle slope, up to what I thought was a ceiling. The ceiling turned out to be the ground. And that's where you saw me pop out. But I don't remember getting into that tunnel. I simply woke up and I was there." Will: "Well, if you don't remember going into the tunnel, maybe you don't remember running around naked."
- 17: Village of Bologna: "As you leave the clearing, you hear this creaking sound from behind you. You turn back to look you see that there is a body hanging from the gallows where that frayed rope was. Goran and Will, when you look, the body that you see seems to be yourself. And Lank, when you look, you see what you think is the noble woman that you attacked before in your past." / Madam Eva's description: "Lank Stumpers, dwarf of forgotten actions, stolen from you in the night."
- 18: It HAS Been Real!: Lank to Madam Eva: "Before I woke up here, or before I woke up in that tunnel that I emerged out of the ground here, did I deserve to be in the place where I was before?" Madam Eva: "Yes." Greg: "Lank looks absolutely crestfallen and steps back."
- 23: Ireena, Can You Give Us a Hand?: "Lank offers his rope" / "Everybody is level five now."
- 27: Mist-ical Visions: Part 3: Lank's vision starts with the same warm golden light as Raphina, but his is "flecked with flecks of dark, inky blackness, like someone threw an ink pot into the air. There are spots of blackness all through the gold." / Batthwack sees a visoin of a baby, possibly Lank: "There's a newborn infant sleeping peacefully in a crib and there's a few indistinct figures watching on, leaning on each other around the crib. These watchers slowly dissolve away and the infant remains sleeping peacefully there. And then, above the infant, you see a dark cloud form. The sight of this fills you with intense dread, throughout your core. This dark cloud hovers in place for a moment and then the cloud itself plunges down directly into the forehead of the baby, who immediately starts shrieking. And a dark symbol appears on the child's head of a cloud that pulses out from the child's forehead, glowing from within, full of that same dark energy. [...] You see Lank Stumpers and he's flying upwards in the air above you. This is the exact same sight you saw when you threw him up on that wooden platform surrounding the windmill. [...] As he passes up in front of your vision, the clouds past him in the sky above, suddenly part and a beam of intensely bright sunlight streams down, past him and around you, which definitely didn't happen before. You've not seen sunlight in Barovia this direct. He's positioned in the air such that the sun itself is perfectly obscured by his body, silhouettes his form and surrounds him with this golden aura. It seems to be more powerful than sunlight itself." / Will is shown a vision of Lank: "His face, while clean, is not nearly as kindly as you're used to. He's scowling as he stands behind a snappily dressed woman. Very sharply dressed, shoes are impeccable. You've never had shoes as nice as these. [...] She's demanding some sort of payment from an elderly half elf. These people are in a large warehouse and the half elf insists very strongly that he doesn't have enough money right now, but he'll get it very soon. This is a familiar conversation to you at some points in your line of work. The woman shakes her head disappointedly and gestures vaguely towards the elderly half elf. As soon as she does this Lank steps forward, and before the elderly man even has a chance to widen his eyes. The dwarf swings this huge, polished wooden club into the half elf's shin with one smooth motion, steps forward as if he's just walking but crushes this man's leg. [...] Lank lets out a short round appreciative laugh." / Will is shown another vision of Lank: "You see Lank again, this time he's walking alone down a city street. It's nighttime, very late. [...] There's no one else around, the street is deserted. It's very dark. He's carrying a burlap sack over one shoulder, full of something. It's very full and a little cumbersome. He's looking down at a list on a sheet of paper. He's walking down the street. He stops. He looks up at the building next to him, which you can see is a bakery. He looks back down at the list, nods, and then sets down the sack and pulls out an unlit torch. He takes the torch, he uses the butt of it to smash out a window of the bakery, then he lights the torch and he throws it inside. He pulls out and lights a few more torches and throws them in afterwards, and soon the interior is full of flame. It's blazing. He watches the fire grow and smiles in the fire light, then picks up the sack, crosses off a line on the list, which you can see has a few crossed off already, and a few more untouched."
...
- 296: Stilled By the Majestic Boringness: Dragon/Savnok: "You know, guys, this isn't cool. We have a history you know. Don't you remember in the temple? Where's your friend? Where's that Lank guy? I can't read his mind for good reason. I gave him some good shit." Raphina: "He made a big sacrifice. He saved us all." Dragon/Savnok: "Dummy. Wasn't worth it was it?" Raphina: "You'll have to ask him. Except he's not where you're going."
Quotes[]
- First line (after bursting out of the ground in the middle of an altercation with a pack of Strahd's wolves): "Sorry!" (Ep11)
Gallery[]
- Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice
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