Seraphina Phalangepot

Seraphina Phalangepot
Player	Abby
Aliases	Seraphina Phalangepot
Species	Halfling
Class	Cleric (Life Domain)
Gender	Female
Age	60 years old (approx)
Spells / Abilities	Call Lightning, Thaumaturgy, Fog Cloud, Tiny Hut, Speak with Animals, Stone Shape
Familiars	Pippa
Home	Beartoggle (City)
Firstappearance	17: Village of Bologna

Seraphina (aka Raphina) Phalangepot was a halfling cleric in the Life domain. She was a master musician, able to pull any kind of instrument out of her magical terrarium. No one knows how many instruments she could play, but she could play seemingly all of them.

Description

Appearance

Raphina has ponytails at the very top of her head right, about four of them all gathered together. Her clothing is described as being like a very colourful "patchwork quilt".

Personality and alignment

Despite being about 60 years old, Raphina is very sprightly. She has a very exuberant spirit.

• 337: The First Time Batthwack EVER Got It: KT: "I got a draw RaphOnlyFans. I don't know how to draw that... Oh! I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to draw Raphina in her boob-socks, because at least then everything's covered, but it's these boob-socks. Is that appropriate? Abby, do I have consent to draw Raphina in her boob-socks?" Abby: "Raphina is very comfortable with her... her... stuff."

Religion

Which religion or deity the character follows, if known.

Abilities and traits

Weapons

Weapons this character uses, if known.

Spells / Abilities

Raphina has a degree in economics from the Beartoggle University.

List of Spells/Abilities:

• Banishment/Bananishment
• Beacon of Hope
• Healing Word
• Mass Healing Word
• Raise Dead
• Speak with Animals
• Spiritual Guardians
• Stone Shape
• Suggestion

• 345: They Were At Lemon's Leap!: Raphina: "Well, I'm not much of a dancer, but I can tap dance a little bit."

Twig Tea

• 19: Does Anybody Have A Tent?: Raphina: "I can make you some some stewed tig twee. Tree! Twee! Wait, I can't say it! [...] I can't speak until I've had my twig tea in the morning." KT: "Yeah, [Will] would totally take some." Abby: "I go and find some mossy twigs and I brew them in hot water." Will: "Wait a second. You mean actual twigs? Listen woman, I thought it was some kind of cute little thing that you're talking about. That's gross." Raphina: "It'll wake you right up."

...

• 305: Zone of Mustard: Abby: "You will not believe how quickly Raphina pulls out the tea and serves individual mugs"
• 310: What Kind of God Needs a Carnival?: Raphina: "I have news for you, Will. Twig tea is just dirt and water. [...] Very powerful, though. Wven though it's just dirt and water."

Home

Raphina is from the town of Beartoggle in Six Rivers.

Treasure & Equipment

Raphina has many treasures, often unknown until the moment they are required. These were originally carried / dragged in a large terrarium, which sadly was destroyed prior to leaving Barovia. Notable treasures have included: Peace cheese, banana skins, fish for stray cats and sewing supplies (particularly for repairing wizards cloaks). Raphina sees treasure in many everyday items and collects things others would miss.

Terrarium

• 18: It HAS Been Real!: First mention of Raphina's terrarium! "Can I bring my terrarium?" / Eric: "Raphina's able to gather her things. She's got a her bag and her terrarium on a little waggon behind her."
• 23: Ireena, Can You Give Us a Hand?: Lank suggests taking the toads with them in Raphina's terrarium: "My terrarium has fold down wheels so we could just pull them along"

[...]

• 300: Clearly Not, Based on This 2-Hour Conversation: Will (to the Anglerfish): "Can you make a terrarium?" Anglerfish: "So, like, a terrarium, like, with, like, animals in it and stuff?" Will: "No. Ah... Well, it's a terrarium for somebody who just carries a whole bunch of weird shit in it. I don't think it really is hospitable for any lifeforms." [...] Anglerfish: "Like, I don't know if I can, like, create a whole, like, pocket dimension or whatever." [...] Will: "I don't even know what is." Anglerfish: "Are you just looking for, like, a glass case that you could, like, put stuff in? That may or may not be alive?" [...] Will: "If you can make it hold a lot of stuff, that's great." Anglerfish: "Alright. I'll do what I can."
• 301: I'm Gonna Have to Give Its Family a Refund: "You see a glass rectangular box, breaching the surface of the water. [...] You don't find a handle, but you can grasp the edges of this rectangular box. It's about a foot wide, maybe two or three foot long. [...] It's about a foot and a half deep, in addition to the other dimensions I already described, and it looks very similar to Raphina's old terrarium. With a few notable exceptions. [...] Rather than perched on the apparatus with wheels that you pull along behind you, it has beneath it these animated legs that it's just walking along. [...] The legs look like an old wooden table where the legs are curved and end in like lion claws, almost. [...] Within the terrarium, it's almost like the bottom of an aquarium, where there's different structures that people sometimes put in for the fish to swim in and out of, but there looks like there's a small scale model of a town. And Will you're able to immediately recognise it as a model of Tivoli. [...] It's just little buildings and everything. You recognise... a lot of its not like perfect and you know, it's... Tivoli's too big to fit in a terrarium in high detail, but... [...] It's attached to the bottom of the terrarium. [...] It had been crouching down on it's back terrarium legs, kind of pointed up towards Will, and then when Will finally is like 'It's your gift,' then it turns and waddles up over towards Raphina."
• 334: Grind the Poopdeck!: Abby: "I plop the terrarium in the water and climb in really fast. And out of the terrarium I pull a tiny set of oars."
• 335: I Draw the Line at Beating up Funeral Participants: "Raphina comes over and gets out of her terrarium a teeny tiny paint-by-numbers kit and hands it to Rosco."
• 345: They Were At Lemon's Leap!: Abby: "I try whistling for it to see if it will come over, on it's little legs." Eric: "Of course it does!"

Lanky Pack

• 164: A Star Trek-Themed Campaign: Raphina saves some of Lank's old clothes, removing a pocket from his trousers, attaching it to a belt and tying it around her waist, and thus invents the fanny pack.

Relationships

Allies

Who they team up with, or who will come to their aid when they are in danger.

Enemies

• 310: What Kind of God Needs a Carnival?: Raphina (when asked if she can heal the owl): "I would but owls really make me mad."

History

Raphina owned and ran a rafting service across the Beartoggle River.

• 334: Grind the Poopdeck!: Raphina (to Gary the ferryman in Trent, struggling to control his craft): "Sir, I have been a ferry professional for many these long years."
• 335: I Draw the Line at Beating up Funeral Participants: Rosco (to Raphina): "Don't quit your day job." Mo: "What is your day job?" Raphina: "It used to be ferrying, but I quit it!"

Raphina Facts!

To be compiled into the article at some point...

• 17: Village of Bologna: Madam Eva calls for Raphina: "she whistles a few notes. [...] You recognise the tune she whistles as [...] the same melody of the song you heard from one of the smaller tents, you heard faintly as you were coming in. [...] Summon the healer!" / Raphina appears! "This is a halfling who is about 60 years old, but very sprightly. She has ponytails on her head, right at the very, very top, about four of them all gathered together. And she is wearing patchwork quilt type clothing. Very colourful. She's kind of exuberant in her spirit." / Madam Eva's description: "Seraphina Phalangepot, halfling of pure intent, unwittingly led along."
• 18: It HAS Been Real!: Madam Eva: "Raphina, it is clear to me that I think that your destiny lies with these people." Raphina: "Ah, I liked hanging out with you guys at this nice pool here." Madam Eva: "I know. You've been very beneficial to us here too. But as I think you know, there's something greater awaiting you and I don't think that you'll find it with us here anymore. I think you've been with us for this moment for these people to come along." / Raphina: "Madam Eva, this is very important. Will I have to face any turtles?" Madam Eva: "Yes." Raphina: "Oh, crap." / Goran: "He's gonna pull out his flute start playing." Abby: "Raphina sings along." Goran: "I like that." KT: "Ah... She jumps up on Lank's shoulders and together they're one person height." Eric: "Lank, finally, someone shorter than you." / Will: "Raphina, have you just been living with the Vistani and has nothing happened to them?" Raphina: "Yeah, I mean, I was, you know, I'll tell you some time about my boat company. But I've got a long history of just, you know, bumming around these parts. I'm old." / Raphina having met Batthwack: "I think these cranial protuberances is over his eyes... I just don't like... Yeah, okay. It's turtally." [...] Alex: "I'm going to point to the dragon on the front of my shield." Batthwack: "This is a dragon." Goran: "Dude, are you a turtle?" Alex: "Batthwack smiles, or attempts to, and attempts to reach out and shake Raphina's hand, but the smile looks a bit toothy."
• 19: Does Anybody Have A Tent?: "You were joined by Raphina, the small, plucky cleric" / Abby: "Raphina wouldn't be delighted to know and it sounds like it's a mission of helpfulness or Raphina is excited." / To try and scare off the ravens... Abby: "I'm going to take my walking stick and pound it on the ground because it has a clanging bell." / Raphina: "I remember something about the windmill. [...] The Vistani said 'NO WINDMILL'. I've heard them say that."
• 20: Take That, Bette Midler!: Raphina casts Thaumaturgy to open a door at a distance. / Speaking of the hags at the windmill, Abby: "I'm not really sure they're mean. But we're just kind of assuming they are. This goes against Raphina's general philosophy." / Raphina casts Guiding Bolt / Raphina uses a light crossbow. / Raphina (when the fight at the windmill starts to go south: "I told you so!"
• 21: Eric, Do You Hate Us?: "I told you guys we shouldn't have gone into the freaking windmill." / Raphina is knocked unconscious and Lank kicks her to try and wake her up: "She's a little bit rotund, so she rolls."
• 22: Aren't We a Little Old to Be Put in Child Pies?: Raphina: "Is anyone dead enough that they need a Spare the Dying, now that I'm awake?" / Raphina mentions her bow and arrow. / Abby talks about Raphina using Cure Wounds / Abby refers to a "flash of light" spell that Raphina has, for killing people, not curing them... Guiding Bolt? / Raphina uses Prayer of Healing, the verbal component being "Wom neeeeee, wom-ne-noooo!" / Raphina makes her voice boom with Thaumaturgy. / "I'm pulling out my holy symbol here. Ironically, it's a tiny turtle shape." / Abby talks about Raphina casting Calm Emotions / "And you also find what looks like a holy symbol, looks like it's made of gold. It's in the shape of a sun attached to a gold chain. There's some carvings in it surrounding a yellow gem, a large yellow gem affixed in the middle. And it looks very similar to the symbols that you saw adorning Ireena and Ismark's house and the church in Barovia. [...] Raphina and Batthwack, you both you can feel an aura coming off of this. It feels pretty much in line with a lot of the equipment and teachings and whatnot in your area of faith." / The Ring of Swimming: "As you put it on, it seems to size itself to fit well, so it wouldn't slip off. But you can pull it off if you want. It's not stuck on you. You don't really notice anything in terms of feeling. But then if you look down [...] if you had webbing [between your digits], it seems a little more substantial. If you didn't have any, you have webbing now between your digits. If you wiggle your toes, you think the same is true for your feet. [...] As soon as you take it off. The webbing goes away." / Raphina takes the Ring of Swimming: "During my days running Raphina's Rafting Service on the Beartoggle River. The animals that I saw every day had webbing on their feet. And were very content to paddle about the river. I'm just saying. It could be a useful thing."
• 23: Ireena, Can You Give Us a Hand?: Raphina speaks to the toads! "Riibbbiiiit!" / "Everybody is level five now" / Raphina picks flowers outside the windmill before they burn it down
• 25: Eat Your Beets and Leave Me Alone: Raphina: "I really would like to start up my ferry service again, if we see any rivers. I'm thinking of settling down." / Raphina: "I have a thimble!" Abby: "And I pull one out of my tinder box and it's small. And it has a little picture of a turtle on it." / Abby: "[Raphina] pulls out her tinderbox and sees the holy symbol and says oh, we were just talking about this." / Raphina (to Rictavio): "I sure like your costume. People round here dress so drab."
• 27: Mist-ical Visions: Part 3: Eric (when the party enter the church in Vallaki): "This light envelops you and fills you with this warmth and goodness. Similar to what you felt when you're in sort of your deepest prayers, most in connection with the deities that you worship. [...] You find yourself in a very familiar situation. You seem to be on your raft from back in your ferrying days. You're midway across what you recognise as the Beartoggle River. [...] You seem to be heading across to the western side of the river. [...] As you ferry across, at the point at which you feel like you would be starting to approach the other bank, you basically catch a glimpse of it in the distance, and then it starts to sort of stretch out away from you. As it does, the day plunges into night. And if you look upstream, you see that far in the distance upstream, there is a swell in the river that starts to build, it starts growing bigger and bigger into a large wave." Abby: "This has happened before!" Eric: "It has. This is basically very much like what you had experienced on the last day of Raphina's Rafting Service. [...] The wave builds bigger and bigger. It's to the point where... it was a big wave, an odd, supernatural occurrence when it happened initially, but this is even bigger. It starts to be unfathomably large and it starts rushing towards you." [...] Abby: "This sort of thing has never happened to me. I mean, this situation has, but the freezing thing." / Eric (after Raphina has seen a vision of Will growing up and supporting his family): "You hear a voice in the back of your head, it's very strong and clear. You immediately recognise it as the unnamed deity who had spoken to you after the wave had destroyed your business and kind of set you on your path of wandering. But this time, it says something a little different. It says, 'The creature that needs your help is right in front of you.'" / Lank has a vision of Raphina: "You recognise the image of Raphina. At first you see, she seems to be in what looks like the interior of a temple of some type. She's bending over an elf with a broken leg. And she seems to be singing some sort of song while deftly setting the bone with one quick motion, quick snap in, but all the while calmly [...] she just keeps on singing her song, very competently setting this bone, then the image kind of fades into dirt again. Then it changes again and you see her standing on a raft on a river with a human couple in front of her. They're dressed in rags, and they look very underfed, very poor off. Looks like they're in some sort of a conversation. The man shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders sadly. You see Raphina smile broadly and gesture them on to the raft with a cheerful wave. They hesitate for a second, but she seems like she's insisting, she keeps motioning them on to the boat. And so they they move on to the raft, she takes a bag from the woman, to maybe place it in the pilot house on the raft, and she looks over at the couple once they've sort of moved past, and when she sees that they're further onto the boat, she quickly pulls out a loaf of bread from the pilot house and slips it into the bag, and then sets it down and turns back to the couple. And then [...] there's another image, this time it's looks like Raphina inside a small wagon, she's tending to a very old man in colourful clothes. She has the most serene and caring look on her face, just going about trying various things to either put pain at ease or try to to heal some malady or something like that. And with each of these visions you feel there's this warmth and goodness palpably radiating out from her."

...

• 258: Raphina and the Woims: Eric: "Raphina, you touch the statue and you don't change size." Abby: "Does anything else change? Am I suddenly wearing a bikini?" Eric: "Were you wearing one before?" Abby: "Under my clothes." Eric: "Well, then you still are." Abby: "Okay. It's how I get my socks to stay up."

...

• 283: One Does Not Simply Walk Into BoarDoor: On the unusual way that Raphina's Arcane Eye manifests itself: "Abby's Arcane Eye, first of all, is visible, but also has the optic nerve" / "it retracts like a yo yo"
• 288: Gimme a Break, Like My Foot: Rosco watches Will and Sheemie flying, "It's making me feel like it would be real awesome to be able to fly." Raphina: "It's not all it cracked up to be. I did some skydiving in my youth and it's just not... [...] At the very, very top of a very, very tall tree in Beartoggle that's not there anymore, DAMN it! And she has a blanket that she's using as a parachute. And she puts her arms up in the air and she bends her knees and she JUMPS OUTTA THE TREEEE! [...] I'm hardcore. Those are the days, those are the days. But no, I'm done with that risk taking."
• 289: I Have No Glaaaaaaaands: Raphina/Abby: "I have no glaaaaaaaands! Waaaaaaaah! [...] Eric, don't write that down!"
• 291: Two or Three Minutes Per Minute: In Raphina's downtime, "Raphina is doing needlepoint." / Abby: "Raphina is wearing a bikini under clothes." (see ep258)
• 292: Is Condom a Condiment?: Raphina: "Look at this bicycle! This is gonna save me a lot of time." Will/KT: "That's awesome, it's like a halfling bicycle. I don't know if I've ever seen a halfling bicycle. I don't know." Eric: "Probably not." KT: "Wow, I'd look like a clown riding that thing."
• 293: Fins, Gills, Angles, Scales, Eyes, Fins, Dorsal Pieces and Teeth: Will's relationship with Raphina: "Raphina, I think you're the oddball. I hope you don't take offence to that. You are my best friend. I said that, I said that before. You're, you know, up there." / Raphina's key has a symbol which is interpreted as "disarray" and she uses this to open the "oddball" door.
• 294: Come In Yoisful: Abby describes the bicycle that Raphina found in the Beartoggle River (see ep292): "It's got a wicker basket with three plastic flowers on it and a little bell shaped in the shape of a fish." Eric: "And its sized for a halfling."
• 296: Stilled By the Majestic Boringness: Raphina casts Mass Healing Word / Raphina uses her oathbow on the dragon
• 298: AS YOU FIIIIISH: Half of Raphina's pigtail is snipped off by Will to save her from the explosive mucus.
• 302: So Profound, and Yet So Unhelpful: Great Aunt Tootie: "Don't you care for a smoke?" Raphina: "Oh no, you know that that gives me tummy troubles." Great Aunt Tootie: "Oh, yes. You fart all over the place when you smoke. I can't even explain it. I don't know why that would be."
• 303: This Is Going to Feel Very Unhelpful: Great Aunt Tootie (handing Raphina a new pair of long distance glasses): "I know you can't keep track of these." [...] Abby: "Have you seen those glasses with the protruding eyes on both of the lenses and they go with the springs, except that they're not springy. They actually zoom out like telescopes, and so that I can see from the arena to where my house is." / Bootie: "You know what you need to do! You need to take responsibility! Do Beartoggle proud! You're special."
• 304: We Can Get the Cold Mustard Out of the House!: Mo: "Who was your mother, Raphina?" Raphina: "It's the Raphina Mother. But we'll talk about that a different time!" / Raphina (talking about her home): "There are lots of holes in the front yard from my porcupine."
• 308: My Pinky Finger Is Very Precise!: KT: "She can do whatever the fuck she wants, okay, you guys? She knows how this river... she's probably cast a million spells near this river. Just because we haven't witnessed her do it. She was pulled from this river and went to Ravenloft. That was a million years of living here, and then she went to Ravenloft for like four weeks. And now she's back. And this river is her bitch. And she's gonna fucking make the river attack these guys..."
• 309: I'm Wearing My Cinderblock Pants: Raphina: "I do have my raft licence. [...] You have to take some special courses."
• 316: God Say What?: KT: "Raphina has probably seen a car. Because her kind of spells, they're always futuristic and from another dimension."
• 321: Hide and Seek: KT: "What are the size differences between Raphina and a four-year-old. Eric: "She's probably a little bit bigger." KT: "Raphina's bigger?" Eric: "Yeah." KT: "I mean, she's round. You've said that before. So she's like an old lady shape." Abby: "Sturdier."
• 336: Brackishly Clear: Raphina: "Well, luckily for you, I have a spare copy of the Ferry Person's Fantastic Fanuel." [...] Abby: "It's well thumbed." [...] Raphina: "Sorry it doesn't smell very good. It's been at the very, very bottom of my pack. And I used to keep it at the bottom of my socks." [...] Abby: "During the entire first season it was in the sock, so that's why it's not in my pack or my list. I don't list all the lint in my socks."

Quotes

• Raphina's first line: "Hello! Raphina Phalangepot at your service! I'll spell that for you. You would not believe how many people get that wrong."

Gallery

Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice

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